I recently was challenged with this question on whether I believe it’s right or wrong for a couple that is not married to move in together. By my standards, I don’t condone this and I’d explain why.
The problem I have with this is very simple. This arrangement of cohabitation is an open window for a couple to play ‘house’. Let me explain what I mean by this. If I choose to move in with my boyfriend my natural maternal and domestic instincts would cause me to cook for him, clean-up after him, take care of the house, decorate it, I would make our house into a home. Everything a wife is meant to do for her Husband. This is one of the biblical roles of a woman to any feminist that may be reading this blog =D. As women we were built as homemakers it’s in our nature.
“The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behaviour, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-8 NKJV)
The arrangement of cohabitation allows for a couple to perform duties that should only be shared between a husband and wife in the absence of a marital covenant.
The other issue I have with cohabitation is “temptation”. I’m sure we can all admit that temptation is hard enough in a relationship in the absence of boundaries, lol even with them! But living together opens up another level of temptation. A Christian couple cohabiting puts themselves in a very vulnerable and dangerous situation where fornication and the desecration of their temples are more likely.
It’s no wonder why couples that move in together with the plan of ‘eventually’ getting married, end up procrastinating. This is usually how it plays itself out: The couples move in together and end up cohabiting for around 10-15 years. You see at this point in the relationship the woman is more likely to be the one pushing for marriage whilst the guys sort of putting it off. For several reasons, maybe he’s waiting for all conditions to be perfect or more likely he’s like, “we’ve been together for 15 years, aren’t we technically married?” And it’s no wonder why he feels that way, because you’ve given him all the benefits that only your Husband should have, free of charge.
What breaks my heart is that women are usually the one that are at more of a disadvantage in these situations. You see if I was with a guy for up to 2 years and there has been no sort of initiation of marriage, 😳 I would fully leave. But now for a woman that has been with someone for 15 years, it’s not so easy. One reason being there’s more likely to be a child involved. I’m sorry you can’t live with someone for that long and not eventually give in to temptation, it happens we’re human. Secondly, this woman has invested 15 years of her life into this man, how could she leave? I know it would be hard for me too.
As a Christian is cohabitation wrong or right? It’s not my place to say. But for me? it’s not good, it’s just not my way of life, it compromises my principles and anything that comprises my principles is more than likely to go against my Covenant with my God.
For you maybe otherwise but I would say this if you are courting and are serious about protecting your partner’s purity cohabitation shouldn’t be an option. As women of God, there’s a standard of integrity which we must maintain. We can’t do things like the world does things and expect a different result. It’s no wonder why some Christians run away from relationships because the examples they see look nothing like God.
I’m a very strong believer that although there are very few, true Godly relationships are possible. But the only way to attain such a crown is to look to our creator. He created the institute of marriage so he knows exactly how it’s meant to be run.
My message to you today is to do things Gods way after all there’s nothing more important than Him. And when we entertain things like cohabitation we make it more about us and less about him for the sake of pleasing our desires.
Your marriage is about you, but it’s really nothing to do with you.
Author: Hannah Okuyemi
Blogger and contributor for Celestialweekly.com
Publisher for asmilethatholdsathousandwords.wordpress.com
Celestial Church of Christ
Covenant of God Parish UK