Forgiveness – do they deserve it?

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I mean that man who left you with two kids- does he deserve your forgiveness?
The man who raped you,
The woman who stole from you,
The parent who didn’t protect you,
The grandparent who verbally abused you, do they deserve it?
No really?
Think about all the pain, the shame ,the frustration, stop. Stop.
Why go back? Why hold on to what hurt you? Why relive what already caused enough pain?
Why? Because of pride?
Beneath every memory that we hold on to, especially as victims to a certain level there is a sense of pride.
I know, outrageous, right? Walk with me.
When you think about that person or those people, how do you feel?
Justified right? Justified to be angry, justified to feel frustrated and to want vengeance. And rightly so- they hurt you. But for how long?
The bible says be angry and sin not. Every Single one of us on this earth has the capacity and God-given right to be angry, or to be hurt, or to be frustrated but it’s what we do it with it that counts. This anger, hatred and bitterness that’s eating you up on the inside, is it doing you any good? 
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath Ephesians 4:26
Does it make you smile?
Does it give you a headache, chest pain and sleepless nights? I can vouch for many of us and say yes, I’ve been there. So why hold on to it?
I remember being infuriated by the man who touched me inappropriately as a child, and not at the time but more so when I understood what had been done to me. Yet, it’s that same man that God justified me before and I know that’s the same for many of us.
Many of us have been wronged by a person or people before and if we truly look at it we will realise that the times we had the most peace were when we surrendered it to God. Surrendered our hurt, our pain, our shame.

I learned a long time ago that some people would rather die than forgive. It’s a strange truth, but forgiveness is a painful and difficult process. It’s not something that happens overnight. It’s an evolution of the heart.Sue Monk Kidd

Sometimes we hold on to past memories because of guilt. We blame the other person or parties for our own sin, and thus rather than confessing our wrongs hold on to self-righteousness. It’s not Godly, it’s not God’s way and in truth it’s killing you.
Joshua said choose this day who you will serve; the Israelites had the option of choosing life or death, it’s really up to us.
And no, it’s not easy. As I type this it’s as a product of God showing me my flaws in offence I was holding towards His child. I’d been offended by someone a while back and it was seeping in to my every interaction.
It’s not cool and it’s not Godly. It causes your relationship with God to go sour and that’s exactly why God calls us to forgiveness. Not for them (our perpetrators) but for ourselves. For peace of mind. For joy. For laughter. All of the things that God wants to give us and supplies every day but often times we can miss.
Let  Go.
Isaiah 43:18-19
18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of Old.
19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall Ye not know it?
God is already doing a new thing every day, but when we’re stuck on our past we miss what He has for our present and delay the experience of what He has for our future.

Let it go and live a fulfilled life.

Author: Yemi Alogba

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