My best friend has just found out she is pregnant.
She wants to abort because she cant cope and is not ready to be a mother. I feel so ashamed off her but she is really struggling to cope with everything. How do I continue to be her best friend in this circumstance?
Dearest sister. I am going to need you to walk with me as we speak. This topic is not one which can be rushed.
Sister mi, Grace cries out and Mercy triumphs over judgement. No one is above temptation. Your best friend’s mistakes and error of judgement make no difference to her value in Christ and thus should not make her of any less value to you. It is easy to love the lovely, or to show love when someone is doing what you approve of, but grace is needed to show love when they’re not. This too is also a test of your own character. When the woman in the bible who was on her 6th partner- one of whom ‘wasn’t even her husband’- do you remember how Christ responded? He responded with love my dear sister, He introduced her to the better way and she became the first evangelist in Samaria.
Please do not get me wrong. Abortion is not in accordance to God’s Will and I do not condone supporting the act. Rather, I endear you to seek God to empower you and help you to lead her in the ways of righteousness. Dearest sister, the Lord may desire to use you to bring her into an understanding of His Grace and His Love; His ability to cover All shame and His Omnipotence. God is All powerful, and children are a gift from God (Psalm 127). Only God has the right to decide whether a life is to be ended- Exodus 20:13, and it gravely offends Him when we do, so much so that after the flood God gave the mandate that for any life taken a life would be taken (Genesis 9). It sounds like your dear friend’s decision is based on fear but there is no justification in God’s eyes. This does not mean He does not forgive those who have aborted as in His Son’s Blood is our redemption from sins, however it is not His Will for us to do so.
No matter the circumstances, God can use Every and Any child. In fact, He does. We see it in the bible time and time again. That is why the bible says that the stone that the builders rejected has become the headstone of a corner. In fact, I have a dear friend whose testimony I will share. ‘For we overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimonies’ Revelations 12:11.
In her early twenties my friend fell pregnant for a man who rejected their second child. This unexpected blessing was labelled ‘a trap’ one of which she had thought she had protected herself from. Already estranged from her family, he too rejected her and told her to ‘get rid of it’. My friend had no one to help her during the pregnancy, and after the first three months she was given a message to stay under protection. For 6 months she was sleeping alone in church joined by the many small friends that came out at night! If that was not hard enough, in the second semester of her pregnancy, she was told that because her child was sickle cell, the child should be aborted, or its quality of life would be terrible. Dearest sister, if she had listened to the doctors and leaned unto the world’s understanding I would not be privileged to share this testimony with you.
God has used this child as a miracle in my friend’s life. Throughout the pregnancy the child was used as a vessel of healing and protection for my friend. The Lord used the child to speak to her in dreams and till this day the Lord still uses this child as a prophet. This CHILD. The stone that the builders rejected is the one God is using for His Glory. This is not only in her home but also in church and in the world. The same doctors who told her that her child would have a terrible life are in shock when they see how God has protected and healed her gift. In times of crisis God has never left this soul and in fact God has used this blessing to confound all hospitals that he has ever had to be in. The majority of the child’s visits are to do check-ups, and of the recent one, the Lord has done it again. Doctors were recently struggling to find sickling in the young child’s blood.
I say all of this to say this:
No one knows the purpose of a child except God but there Is a purpose. Sister mi. Please prayerfully minister to your sister, set aside your judgement and show the love of Christ to this woman. Condemnation is already being felt by her. I believe your sister is being plagued by the gravity of her decisions, but it is only Love that never fails. At the end of the day our sister will decide, but it is our responsibility to prayerfully and humbly guide her and intercede.
Sister, thank you so much for reaching out! By doing so, I believe you have helped many others and I pray that many will be encouraged.
Family, if you are reading this and are thinking about aborting a child, or telling someone to do so, please take heed to these words of love. God is More than Able to take care of you and your child. He is Able to deliver you from all shame and if you trust Him you will see His Hand move greatly. God used my friend’s child to encourage me beyond comprehension and He will do the same through the Gift He is giving you.
I thank God for Jesus for in Him there is no condemnation. If you have aborted and are feeling condemned, that is not the purpose of this response, but rather to lovingly encourage us to walk in God’s ways. Child of God, God does not desire us to walk in the weight of our sins nor should we. Christ died so that we could have complete atonement from our sins, past , present and future. Before time began, God had decided to sacrifice His Only Son for Every sin we have committed. He knew we could not carry the weight. Sister, brother, please surrender any guilt and shame unto the Lord. He knows our weaknesses and our flaws and He is more than able to forgive us of sin and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. His Grace is sufficient. The scripture says: “if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7: 14.) God is Able to heal our hearts and turn us into greater beings than we could ever expect. He takes every mistake and circumstance to turn into a testimony. We just have to surrender.
Please surrender, God is waiting.
Sister Abeke x